Writing, Vulnerability, and Managing Fear

Part of the reason why I haven’t strongly pursued writing in the past is my fear of exposing vulnerability. The best writing happens when someone writes what he or she knows. That means vulnerability will always be present since personal experience is involved.

The topics I’ve just recently started to address in my writing–depression, anxiety, and my experience as a biracial woman–make me feel vulnerable and anxious, but are ultimately freeing. Each time I put these topics down on paper and then release them to the world, my mind runs wild with worry and fear. After I’ve submitted a piece and some time has passed, the frantic thoughts lessen and I reach a place of acceptance. With acceptance of whatever may come, a huge burden is lifted from my shoulders. This process happens over and over again. Sometimes the worried thoughts last for a week, sometimes for months. Usually, the entire process restarts when a new person reads my work. But I’ve learned to click the Send button anyway, despite the anxiety that I no longer allow to rule my actions.

In September, I will be a Guest Blogger for Mixed Roots Stories, a blog where multiracial people can explore their experiences in community with one another. This is the first time I have written exclusively on this topic. Although I went through the typical process of fear, anxiety, and frantic worried thoughts, I kept writing. Finishing all the pieces was cathartic and even fun, encouraging me to continue writing as truthfully as possible.

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